Straight From The Snark's Mouth

So, I'm a terrible person, I know. I haven't posted ANYTHING with real content in a while. I'm working on that.

Really. I am.

I promise.

In the mean time, I'm having a blast in the Gunblogger Conspiracy chat. It's AWESOMESAUCE, ya'll. Srsly.

I've had some really interesting conversations about watching Ren & Stimpy on LSD, problems with my piece o' shit laptop, the even bigger pile o' shit van, Scarlet, guns (of course, duh!), sex (always a fun topic), boobs specifically (a constant topic), movies (Monday Movie Night FTW!), and I've gotten to add some new blogs to my blogroll.

Which I haven't updated in forever, so I guess it's time to do it now, huh? Check out my sidebar to see more people who generally rock my fucking socks off and offer a great read.

In news RELATED to guns and the bloggers I read, I have some good news to offer (for me anyway)...

I GET TO GO TO A BLOGMEET! SQUEEEE!!!

Yes. It's true. I get to be one of the cool kids now. I get to meet with some of my favorite bloggers to let my inner carnivore out and (hopefully) shoot some stuff. I say hopefully because I don't have a weapon of my own, I'm really not all that educated on the handling of guns aside from the Four Rules, but maybe someone will take pity on me and let me shoot their boomstick. Who knows, maybe I'll come home further educated and have an idea of what I want for my own shooty goodness.

But yes, FarmGirl is hosting a blogmeet the first weekend in November, opening weekend of pheasant season. Pheasant and prairie dog shoot, general fun shoot, and good food with good company. When she told me on the IRC channel, I opined that I probably wouldn't be able to attend, due to transportation. She suggested I try to hitch a ride with somebody heading out there. Of course, I inquired as to which of my favorite blog celebrities would be in attendance, and I just about fangirl'd myself into the next century when she told me the list:

*Ambulance Driver
*LawDog
*PhlegmFatale
*Stingray and LabRat
*AEPilotJim
*OldNFO
*Matt G of Better and Better (possibly)

And a few others I can't recall right off the top of my head.

Plus yours truly. Why? Because I managed to snag a ride!

OldNFO will be picking AEPilotJim up in Tulsa to carry him along to this fun little shindig, and he informed me that he would be more than happy to stop here in BFE, Missouri to grab my sorry ass as well.

Yay! I'm so happy! I can hardly wait for November to get here now! Agh! ZOMG! Squee! Various other noises that might adequately express my elation!

Now, onto something that seems to chafe my ass here as of late.

Redhead's Sister.

Yeah. Her. Again.

She's well-meaning, she really is, but damn she ain't too bright.

She's a total hippie. Hey, if you want to live your life that way, more power to you. She's very in-touch with her Mexican heritage, to the point she married an illegal immigrant and made him a legal citizen. Again, more power to you.

As far as her being a hippie... Well... She's all about eating only organic foods. She spends a shit-ton on groceries because of it, I know this for a fact. She's all about recycling EVERYTHING she buys, she uses cloth diapers on her two kids. Hell, like I said before, her business is selling hemp-cloth diapers. She loves hemp fabrics. And I will admit, they're soft and feel nice. But it's hella expensive.

She's such a hippie, I'm amazed she doesn't drive a friggin' Prius. But her husband drives a massive Dodge Ram that makes other hippies quake with fear. I know, I've driven it past them. I think I remember one fainting. It was AWESOME, I tell you.

She's vegetarian. She wants to forgo eating meat, good for her. Here's where problems start to arise, though...

She has two kids, two little girls. Xochitl is 7, and Dulce is 2. They're good kids. Xochitl is bratty like nobody's business, but kids will be kids, I suppose.

And they're unintentionally suffering because of Sister. She's raising her kids vegetarian as well. With no vitamins to make up for the fact that they're not getting it from eating meat. Certain vitamins are needed, and animal fats help with brain development in young children.

Oh yeah, and she's not getting the kids vaccinated either.

And she expects me to let my month-old son to spend time with these children? She wants me to expose my son to potential illnesses because she feels vaccinations are unnecessary? Um, no. Not gonna fly.

Her husband doesn't want Redhead and I coming to the house. He fights with Redhead constantly (and I can see why on occasion, Redhead isn't the easiest to get along with), and he thinks all American women are sluts. Wait, didn't you marry an American woman? You did? Didn't her marrying you give you legal citizenship here? It did? So you won't get shipped back to Mexico, right? Oh yeah. Insult your wife, good job.

For a while, we would go down and wash clothes at Sister's house, and it was all cool. Then Jackass Husband said nope, that wasn't allowed either. And then problems start.

Me: "Um, Sister? You remember those diapers you gave us, to get us started with Daniel?"
Her: "Yeah, how are they working out?"
Me: "Well, we haven't been using them because they're still a little too big for Daniel, they just kinda fall off. But I have to ask you... You remember how many you gave us? About 14 or 15, right?"
Her: "Yeah, I figured that would get you started out alright."
Me: "Yeah, about that. It's only like a day or so's worth of diapers. And I can't afford to go to the laundromat every day or every other day."
Her: "So? What's the problem?"
Me: "If I can't come sit at your place almost every day to wash diapers, I can't use them. I can't afford to spend thirty bucks a week just to wash DIAPERS."
Her: "So what are you saying?"
Me: "I'm saying I'm bringing them back to you because your husband doesn't like me or your little brother. Redhead has already said he won't even come to your house anymore. You are letting your husband cause a rift between you and your little brother, your little brother and his nieces, and a rift will be caused between Daniel and his two cousins. His ONLY two cousins. Because you are letting your husband control every aspect of your life, including everything that happens in your house. Hell, you can't even listen to music you like without him throwing a bitch fit. Does that seem right?"


Yeah. Fun times, ain't it? Jackass Husband knew that van was a piece of shit, so he gave the okay to give it to us. I should have sold it the second she gave it to me, could have gotten more money out of it then than I can now. Hell, I'm looking at only about $300 as it stands now. When I got it, it still ran well enough to get a grand out of. Not so much anymore.

Oh well. Hindsight is 20/20. Jackass Husband is still a little stumpy wetback prick in my book, though.

Kiss my ass, pendejo.