So, I guess this does officially make me a mother, albeit a new one.
I woke up crying this morning from a bad dream. All centered around Daniel.
I don't know how or why or whatever, but in this dream, for some reason, the state mandated that I give my son up to a couple who couldn't have kids. The woman said to me in a snide voice, "Don't worry, we'll take care of him," as if implying I didn't, and I came unglued. I threw things, I sobbed, I screamed, and I tried to claw the bitch's eyes out when she reached out to pick MY baby up.
When I woke up in tears, I immediately busted my ass to his crib to see him peacefully sleeping, and I just had to pick him up and hold him for an hour.
Thank god neither him nor the Redhead woke up to see me like that.
So. Fucking. Scared.
Sunday, June 28, 2009
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