Monday, November 23, 2009

Reasons I'm Awesome, Pt. 632

Scene: Sidewalk, after dark. Streetlights are on, stars are out, faint sounds of traffic in the background. A young man of the dumbshit emo variety, and a perky female of the yuppie variety are standing on a section of sidewalk in front of a house, talking. Our hero, Snarky, enters from the end of the street, humming a song to herself and smoking a cigarette as she approaches the young couple.

Snarky: Hum de dum dum. *puffs*

EmoFuck: *glares at approaching person, sees cigarette* You know smoking will kill you, right?

Yuppie: *rolls her eyes and puffs on her own cigarette*

Snarky: *exhales big plume of smoke* Yep. That's why I do it. *flicks ash*

Yuppie: Me too! *giggle*

EmoFuck: *sneers as Snarky gets closer* That stuff is so bad for your health.

Snarky: *takes another puff and flicks the cigarette away, walking up to EmoFuck. Exhales smoke in his face and smiles darkly* And me without it is bad for your health, pal. If you have a problem with it, take a number and go fuck yourself.

EmoFuck: *coughs, hacks, sputters, calls Snarky a stupid cunt, and wanders in the opposite direction of Snarky*

Yuppie: *giggles the whole time*

I didn't say I was in the best of moods.

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