So it's time for some brain vomit. This should be interesting.
I'm currently sitting home alone. There's thunder outside, which is having a very interesting effect. I live in a trailer (yes, and it's cramped and I hate it here), so loud, rumbling thunder RIGHT overhead in a tin box... With my odd mentality, I notice mental effects of things like that. I'm big into sensation. Smells, taste, sounds; certain things trigger a mood swing. The all-around *feel* of thunder in this place falls into that category, apparently.
And now I'm all nice and talkative, and I know I have been woefully neglecting you folks of a good, meaty post you can really sink your teeth into, so here I am, babbling to give you folks on the internet something to waste five or so minutes of your life.
In all honesty, instead of listening to music and blogging about absolutely nothing, I really should be cleaning, but on days like today, it's just *really* difficult to find the motivation. Rainy days are for lounging around doing absolutely nothing. And while Wee Idjit is currently with the Redhead, I'm going to enjoy an hour or so of me time.
I don't know if I have mentioned this yet, but Nerd has moved out and back in with his mom. He was watching Wee Idjit during the day while everybody was at work, and I started noticing some major errors on his part. We butted heads is putting it lightly, and he fled. Apparently when I'm mad enough, I don't put the fear of God into pepole.... I put the fear of me into people. Androgynous didn't care, for she dumped him several weeks ago, and Stud was a little irked (it is his big brother, after all), but isn't holding it against me. Nerd was, and all parties agree, an all around useless fuckwad.
Since Androgynous is so rarely here, that just leaves me, Stud, and Wee Idjit. And with personal politics and the drama llama that follows them, my life has been turned upside down. To quote a guy I know, a day in my life is like an episode of a really bad soap opera. But at times, it's entertaining just because of the sheer insanity, when you stop and think about it. You don't think so? Eh, maybe it's one of those "you had to be there" type situations.
I'm currently trying to find a better job, which is a Bad Day. I mean, jobs are so freaking scarce in this town, it's damn near impossible. Right now, I'd even settle for an equally shitty job, just so long as it gave more hours. Making ends meet on this part time, minimum wage bullshit is exactly that: bullshit. And yes, I have tried finding another part time, but my current work schedule doesn't play well with ANY other shifts that exist. Not to mention taking Stud's schedule into consideration, since part of the living arrangement agreement was providing transportation.
And I can't write up a blog post without mentioning a bit of good news, kids. A guy I dated in high school has recently resurfaced, thanks to the wonders of Al Gore's Intarwebz. He found me through Facebook and my little brother, and we have recently begun talking once again, with the glorious knowledge that he lives in Springfield, a mere two hours from me.
I see many weekend visits to Springfield in the near future, since it's close enough and only takes half a tank of gas to get there. Whoo!
This could be entertaining, ya'll.
Saturday, March 19, 2011
Sunday, March 13, 2011
Overheard in Texts
Discussing the debauchery that all young adults in college towns, much like myself, get into when they hit a weekend and have zero responsibility for 48 hours, a coworker of mine, Troy, told me that he was never drinking tequila again, for he had woken up in an awkward position with two ladies of the, ah, easily persuaded nature, in his room mate's bed.
Troy: I'm never drinking tequila again. That was entirely too crazy a night for me.
Snarky: Dude, that's why I drink tequila. Tequila opens up doors of opportunity for new and exciting ways to get in trouble.
Troy: .... Your quotes will make history one day, girlie.
Snarky: Yeah, I know.
Because I truly am that sharp-witted and charming, kids. Accept no substitutes.
Troy: I'm never drinking tequila again. That was entirely too crazy a night for me.
Snarky: Dude, that's why I drink tequila. Tequila opens up doors of opportunity for new and exciting ways to get in trouble.
Troy: .... Your quotes will make history one day, girlie.
Snarky: Yeah, I know.
Because I truly am that sharp-witted and charming, kids. Accept no substitutes.
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
Stylish Blogging!
So, because this guy over here tagged me for this award for STYLE, ya'll, and there has been a depressing LACK of content, and it's easy filler..... You get the picture.
The rules are name seven things my readers probably don't know about me, then tag fifteen people to do the same. Simple enough.
1 - I make a lot of noise and act intimidating, but I have never once gotten into a hands-on fight. My dad subtly taught me that growing up. I'm obnoxious as all hell, and I'll get in your face and possibly shove you, but when the circle closes around you and the fists start to fly, I am a spineless coward and will run the fuck away.
2 - As a teenager (and a very anti-social one at that), I participated in sports. Not in high school, though. Fuck no, that would require me actually getting along with people, and we all know I'm no good at that. No, all the sports I participated in were in a wheelchair. With my father being the president of the local Lion's Club (who is known for their involvement with the (handicapped? Disabled?) community) and the fact that he himself grew up in a wheelchair due to CP (More irony that Mike tagged me here and I ended up talking about my dad...), it's no surprised I grew up playing football, basketball, and rugby strapped in a chair. It kept me out of trouble, and I made a lot of friends that really shaped the way I live my life.
3 - I have got some big fucking feet, for a girl. I wear a women's size 11.5 shoe. It makes finding a comfortable pair of shoes a bitch, and finding comfortable shoes that I will actually wear and can AFFORD (Cuz I'm a broke bitch, ya'll) damn near impossible. It's amazing at all that I found my favorite pair of boots for less than $50 after shipping, and they fit me *perfectly*.
4 - I am a coffee whore. I could not make it through the day without drinking multiple pots of it. And I'll drink a pot of coffee and immediately go to sleep. But I'm a snobby coffee whore. I'm always on the lookout for the next delicious bag of liquid heaven that I can't afford. Because I'm difficult to buy gifts for, my family has taken to just giving me Starbucks gift cards, and I'll go find a flavor that piques my interest. I'm not saying Starbucks is the be-all, end-all of coffee. Truth be told, I love Gloria Jeans the most... but they're all the way up in the mall in Independence, and that's a lot of expensive gas for my truck to burn.
5 - I was raped when I was 18 that resulted in me paying a visit to Planned Parenthood for an abortion. I was living with a man who I lied to myself and told myself he loved me. He was a raging alcoholic and developed a drug problem after I moved in with him, but I desperately did not want to live under my father's overprotective restrictions, so I dealt with it. I dealt with a lot of abuse and kept convincing myself to stay, but one day he came home from work with two coworkers, all boozed up. They tied me up and raped me, and instead of calling the cops after they untied me and left, I called my mother to come get me, and I moved home. I didn't talk to anyone for months, and I rarely left my bedroom. I think my father was considering having me committed. Neither of my parents ever knew this happened. This also explains my *intense* dislike and distrust for Mexicans. The other two guys were illegal.
6 - I will be straight-forward, brassy, and bold when I talk to a new person for the first time. And being the nerd I am, this is usually on the internet. But the moment you meet me face-to-face, I will clam up and turn quiet and shy. Blogorado was a perfect example of this: that first night, I was quiet and shy and stuck to a corner and tried not to interact too much because I was terrified of somehow managing to offend all these people that I admired so much. And we're not even going to get into the implications of tension when I'm in this situation with a guy.
7 - I am all about texture and the sensation of touch. I can't eat greasy foods because of this, and certain fabrics drive me insane and I can't wear them. All those chicks that love the feeling of crushed velvet under their fingers? Yeah, get that shit away from me, it weirds me the fuck out.
That was way harder than I thought it would be.
Okay, so let's see if I can come up with fifteen people to tag... Hmmm....
Salamander
Crystal
DaddyBear
Rauðbjorn
JRebel
MattG
pdb
Squeaky
Wai
Sabra
Okay, I tried to tag as many people as I could that hadn't done this yet. Everybody in our circle is pretty damned stylish, yanno?
Happy blogging, folks!
The rules are name seven things my readers probably don't know about me, then tag fifteen people to do the same. Simple enough.
1 - I make a lot of noise and act intimidating, but I have never once gotten into a hands-on fight. My dad subtly taught me that growing up. I'm obnoxious as all hell, and I'll get in your face and possibly shove you, but when the circle closes around you and the fists start to fly, I am a spineless coward and will run the fuck away.
2 - As a teenager (and a very anti-social one at that), I participated in sports. Not in high school, though. Fuck no, that would require me actually getting along with people, and we all know I'm no good at that. No, all the sports I participated in were in a wheelchair. With my father being the president of the local Lion's Club (who is known for their involvement with the (handicapped? Disabled?) community) and the fact that he himself grew up in a wheelchair due to CP (More irony that Mike tagged me here and I ended up talking about my dad...), it's no surprised I grew up playing football, basketball, and rugby strapped in a chair. It kept me out of trouble, and I made a lot of friends that really shaped the way I live my life.
3 - I have got some big fucking feet, for a girl. I wear a women's size 11.5 shoe. It makes finding a comfortable pair of shoes a bitch, and finding comfortable shoes that I will actually wear and can AFFORD (Cuz I'm a broke bitch, ya'll) damn near impossible. It's amazing at all that I found my favorite pair of boots for less than $50 after shipping, and they fit me *perfectly*.
4 - I am a coffee whore. I could not make it through the day without drinking multiple pots of it. And I'll drink a pot of coffee and immediately go to sleep. But I'm a snobby coffee whore. I'm always on the lookout for the next delicious bag of liquid heaven that I can't afford. Because I'm difficult to buy gifts for, my family has taken to just giving me Starbucks gift cards, and I'll go find a flavor that piques my interest. I'm not saying Starbucks is the be-all, end-all of coffee. Truth be told, I love Gloria Jeans the most... but they're all the way up in the mall in Independence, and that's a lot of expensive gas for my truck to burn.
5 - I was raped when I was 18 that resulted in me paying a visit to Planned Parenthood for an abortion. I was living with a man who I lied to myself and told myself he loved me. He was a raging alcoholic and developed a drug problem after I moved in with him, but I desperately did not want to live under my father's overprotective restrictions, so I dealt with it. I dealt with a lot of abuse and kept convincing myself to stay, but one day he came home from work with two coworkers, all boozed up. They tied me up and raped me, and instead of calling the cops after they untied me and left, I called my mother to come get me, and I moved home. I didn't talk to anyone for months, and I rarely left my bedroom. I think my father was considering having me committed. Neither of my parents ever knew this happened. This also explains my *intense* dislike and distrust for Mexicans. The other two guys were illegal.
6 - I will be straight-forward, brassy, and bold when I talk to a new person for the first time. And being the nerd I am, this is usually on the internet. But the moment you meet me face-to-face, I will clam up and turn quiet and shy. Blogorado was a perfect example of this: that first night, I was quiet and shy and stuck to a corner and tried not to interact too much because I was terrified of somehow managing to offend all these people that I admired so much. And we're not even going to get into the implications of tension when I'm in this situation with a guy.
7 - I am all about texture and the sensation of touch. I can't eat greasy foods because of this, and certain fabrics drive me insane and I can't wear them. All those chicks that love the feeling of crushed velvet under their fingers? Yeah, get that shit away from me, it weirds me the fuck out.
That was way harder than I thought it would be.
Okay, so let's see if I can come up with fifteen people to tag... Hmmm....
Salamander
Crystal
DaddyBear
Rauðbjorn
JRebel
MattG
pdb
Squeaky
Wai
Sabra
Okay, I tried to tag as many people as I could that hadn't done this yet. Everybody in our circle is pretty damned stylish, yanno?
Happy blogging, folks!
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
COOOOOKIEZ
So, seriously, it becomes a Big Fucking Deal when I step into the kitchen to bake the best fucking cookies EVAR. People flock to my place to visit and snag one of them. I have seen people get in FISTFIGHTS over the big ones, drawing blood for the Last One.
Stud has resorted to bribery to get me to bake them again. Red Velvet is his personal favorite, and he has bugged and badgered me for days until my willpower finally dissolved. Can't resist the puppy dog eyes forever.
So when I did finally agree to make them, word got around quick. A friend from work came over to my place to see what the big deal was all about, Androgynous appeared as if from nowhere, Stud and Nerd's mom came rolling into town in her new car, the USS Silver Lining.
Everyone sat around and waited with bated breath... except for the Coworker, who had never witnessed such delirium over mere *cookies*. Stud was damn near drooling on himself, twitching with excitement.
I made a double batch on a small cookie sheet, ergo smaller cookies... I'm going to end up with a *lot* of cookies. But I don't know how long the whole batch will last if the first dozen sets a pattern. The first dozen, warm and gooey and delicious from the oven?
Yeah. Gone inside of five minutes.
This is gonna be *fun*.
Stud has resorted to bribery to get me to bake them again. Red Velvet is his personal favorite, and he has bugged and badgered me for days until my willpower finally dissolved. Can't resist the puppy dog eyes forever.
So when I did finally agree to make them, word got around quick. A friend from work came over to my place to see what the big deal was all about, Androgynous appeared as if from nowhere, Stud and Nerd's mom came rolling into town in her new car, the USS Silver Lining.
Everyone sat around and waited with bated breath... except for the Coworker, who had never witnessed such delirium over mere *cookies*. Stud was damn near drooling on himself, twitching with excitement.
I made a double batch on a small cookie sheet, ergo smaller cookies... I'm going to end up with a *lot* of cookies. But I don't know how long the whole batch will last if the first dozen sets a pattern. The first dozen, warm and gooey and delicious from the oven?
Yeah. Gone inside of five minutes.
This is gonna be *fun*.
Thursday, February 17, 2011
Send Ambien
My sleep schedule has been ALL sorts of muffed up here lately.
Since I moved in with Stud and Nerd (since Androgynous is pretty much *never* here), I have been inclined to stay up later into the night. They are my friends, and I feel the urge to be social. God knows I never got any social interaction with other people when I was living with the Redhead.
But yes. I enjoy the conversations with Stud, and from time to time, even Nerd can hold my attention for more than a few minutes without creeping me out. He's pretty damn creepy, yo. He has DATERAPEFACE. Don't ask me to describe it, it's one of those things you'd have to see to understand.
But... I stay up later in the evenings, talking and listening to music and just generally enjoying pleasant company. Relaxing. Doing absolutely nothing of importance, but CONTENT with that fact. Another difference between living with the Redhead and living here.
The only problem is the fact that the alarms start going off at 5:30 in the morning, to wake Stud up for work. Stud doesn't wake up, so I'm forced on a daily basis to go drag his ass out of bed.
5:30 would not be such a miserable early hour... okay, so it probably would anyway... if I had been going to bed before midnight. Except I'm kinda stupid like that, and I never learn, so I KEEP staying up late and not getting enough sleep.
My diet's been off, as well. I'm dropping weight, need to buy new pants. Nothing fits right, everything hangs off my ass. Kinda disappointing. But alas, I will survive.
No sleep, barely eating, kinda twitchy and prone to random outbursts of ZOMGWTFRAGE... you'd think I was on drugs.
No, no drugs here. Just getting used to freedom again.
But I really could use a three-day nap.
Since I moved in with Stud and Nerd (since Androgynous is pretty much *never* here), I have been inclined to stay up later into the night. They are my friends, and I feel the urge to be social. God knows I never got any social interaction with other people when I was living with the Redhead.
But yes. I enjoy the conversations with Stud, and from time to time, even Nerd can hold my attention for more than a few minutes without creeping me out. He's pretty damn creepy, yo. He has DATERAPEFACE. Don't ask me to describe it, it's one of those things you'd have to see to understand.
But... I stay up later in the evenings, talking and listening to music and just generally enjoying pleasant company. Relaxing. Doing absolutely nothing of importance, but CONTENT with that fact. Another difference between living with the Redhead and living here.
The only problem is the fact that the alarms start going off at 5:30 in the morning, to wake Stud up for work. Stud doesn't wake up, so I'm forced on a daily basis to go drag his ass out of bed.
5:30 would not be such a miserable early hour... okay, so it probably would anyway... if I had been going to bed before midnight. Except I'm kinda stupid like that, and I never learn, so I KEEP staying up late and not getting enough sleep.
My diet's been off, as well. I'm dropping weight, need to buy new pants. Nothing fits right, everything hangs off my ass. Kinda disappointing. But alas, I will survive.
No sleep, barely eating, kinda twitchy and prone to random outbursts of ZOMGWTFRAGE... you'd think I was on drugs.
No, no drugs here. Just getting used to freedom again.
But I really could use a three-day nap.
Monday, February 14, 2011
Serious Up, Internet
You know, everybody is happy for me that I've left the Redhead. They keep telling me I did the right thing for myself and Wee Idjit, yada yada yada, et cetera, ad nauseum.
And while I'm aware that they're all correct in pretty much every way, it doesn't change the fact that I've been having an INCREDIBLY difficult time dealing with life in general here these past few weeks.
I'm very lonely. I've been keeping close company with Stud, because, well... he's a very good friend, he's very pretty, he understands what's going on in my head (on more than one subject) better than anyone else I know. When Redhead and I had problems, Stud was a foundation of sanity for me. He is continuing to be so now, when I don't have to burn a lot of gas to get away to see him. It's convenient that we live under the same roof.
I'm not going to deny I still love Redhead. It'd be stupid of me to try. I was with him for three years. He took care of me, I had a kid with him. A lot of the time, things were good. He had mental issues and lashed out, blaming everyone but himself for things that were eating his soul from his childhood. And he refused to seek help, or admit there was a problem. That's why I left. That's why I'm not going back.
But god damn am I lonely. And of course, I decided to voice my opinion on these issues on Valentine's Day. That does not bode well for any and all parties involved, does it?
And while I'm aware that they're all correct in pretty much every way, it doesn't change the fact that I've been having an INCREDIBLY difficult time dealing with life in general here these past few weeks.
I'm very lonely. I've been keeping close company with Stud, because, well... he's a very good friend, he's very pretty, he understands what's going on in my head (on more than one subject) better than anyone else I know. When Redhead and I had problems, Stud was a foundation of sanity for me. He is continuing to be so now, when I don't have to burn a lot of gas to get away to see him. It's convenient that we live under the same roof.
I'm not going to deny I still love Redhead. It'd be stupid of me to try. I was with him for three years. He took care of me, I had a kid with him. A lot of the time, things were good. He had mental issues and lashed out, blaming everyone but himself for things that were eating his soul from his childhood. And he refused to seek help, or admit there was a problem. That's why I left. That's why I'm not going back.
But god damn am I lonely. And of course, I decided to voice my opinion on these issues on Valentine's Day. That does not bode well for any and all parties involved, does it?
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
Revived Cute Kid Pic
I know, I'm a terrible blogstress, we have established this.
BUT LOOK! CUTENESS!!
That is Wee Idjit, obviously, being kept amused and occupied and (most importantly) QUIET by the Stud Roomie. He adores Stud, and Stud is just tickled pink by his being there. Makes life a lot more amusing and unpredictable, sez he.
And we can't be having a predictable life, now can we? Makes it all boring'n'shiz.
BUT LOOK! CUTENESS!!
That is Wee Idjit, obviously, being kept amused and occupied and (most importantly) QUIET by the Stud Roomie. He adores Stud, and Stud is just tickled pink by his being there. Makes life a lot more amusing and unpredictable, sez he.
And we can't be having a predictable life, now can we? Makes it all boring'n'shiz.
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
Quote of the Day - Sexy
"For me, sexy is more a matter of personality and brains.... On the flip side, though, you can't motorboat a personality." - Raudhbjorn
That's something lol-worthy at 6:30 in the morning, right thurr.
That's something lol-worthy at 6:30 in the morning, right thurr.
Thursday, January 20, 2011
Quote of the Day - Baby Jesus
During a conversation with the inimitable Munchkin Wranger, opining on how much I hate snow and the lack of drivability the Death Star offers on it...
Snarky: Rear-wheel drive makes Baby Jesus cry.
Munchkin Wrangler: Baby Jesus cries over damn near anything. Little fucker needs to toughen the fuck up.
I love the internet...
Snarky: Rear-wheel drive makes Baby Jesus cry.
Munchkin Wrangler: Baby Jesus cries over damn near anything. Little fucker needs to toughen the fuck up.
I love the internet...
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
Drama-Llama Warning
Intertubes, I have a bit of a problem.
This is another one of those posts that is more of a journal entry than it is informative of... anything, really. So, if you want to avoid a whole mess of personal drama, I'd suggest clicking anybody in my sidebar over on the right. They usually have something important/amusing/thoughtful to read, and it will keep you from an overdose of OH GOD WHY.
As you read a few posts back, the Redhead and I have parted ways. I stayed with Sister for a while, but once her newest little one was born, I was underfoot, and I know when I need to make myself scarce. I'm now living with the previously mentioned Bret, Leo, and Mary (henceforth known as Stud, Nerd, and Androgynous, respectively).
Well, it goes without saying that Redhead, in his typical fashion, utterly loathes Stud’s existence. He is so very convinced that I was sneaking around behind his back with Stud for the past year and a half, and the fact that I am now living with Stud just confirms it! Le gasp! He was right!
Not really, but you all know how paranoid conspiracy theorists can be, I’m sure.
Redhead and I both returned to work yesterday. I have been dreading that very thing for the past two weeks, since I moved out. We work in the same building, with him making food on one side of a rec center’s food court, and me working a cash register on the other side. In the past, whenever he has been mad at me for any reason, and we’re both at work… I sit at my register and check out customers, minding my own business. Redhead constantly walks over to my register to hiss and cuss and be insulting and degrading in every way possible.
You can see why I would be apprehensive about returning to work.
Then, the heavens smiled upon me, and a lot of people did not show up for corporate training for the new branch of Einstein Brother’s Bagels we just opened on campus, so those that had any training got pulled to work over there. Which meant Redhead was out of my hair! Hooray!
Except he would wander over to the rec center on his lunch break and hover around my register for half an hour, making me uncomfortable. He was being nice and cordial and making small talk, but his very presence made me extremely nervous. Maybe it’s because I’m so used to his behavior, that I keep expecting an explosion.
Well, when I saw him today, I told him I needed to come by after work and pick up my monster boots. I have to park across campus, and yesterday we got a ZOMG Snowpacolypse. The monster boots are one of two pairs of shoes that I own, the others being soft leather loafer-looking things with slip-proof soles, for work and job hunting. Needless to say, they do not do well when having to crunch across parking lots that have not been visited by the MoDOT Plow Fairy. Not to mention my pants get wet and then I’m just a cranky bitch.
He wanted to know if I would be bringing Wee Idjit with me. No, says I, because it is ridiculously cold outside and I do not want to expose him to that. That’s just mean. Besides, I’d be coming straight from work. He just kinda walked off…. And one of our mutual coworkers immediately sought me out to find out what I said to piss him off. Oh, the old women at work are LOVING the juicy gossip my existence seems to provide.
Look, I understand wanting to see Wee Idjit. I have no problem bringing him over so you two can spend time together. I want you to see him. You’re his father, and a child needs his father. But getting mad at me because I refuse to expose him to dangerously low temperatures multiple times? No. Don’t play that game with me.
Then he called me a few hours later. Told me he was tired of hearing about life with the roommates. He wanted more than anything for me to come home.
It’s too late for that now. This is the third time we have broken up for any amount of time. The first time, I was gone for a weekend and came back. The second time, I was gone for three weeks, in Texas. This time, there is no coming back. Third time’s the charm, as the saying goes. I will not be lured back into the same old routine with promises of change, of less screaming. More nights where I can fall asleep peacefully, without snide remarks and whispered words of hatred because I’m not the little ass-kisser you want me to be.
This is where I make a stand. This is where my life changes. And there ain’t a fucking thing you can do about it. So pull up your big boy pants, if you got them, and learn to deal with it. You can either take me and Daniel and the way we live, the way it is, or you can get angry and throw a fit about it. Makes me no never mind.
This is where the real change begins.
This is another one of those posts that is more of a journal entry than it is informative of... anything, really. So, if you want to avoid a whole mess of personal drama, I'd suggest clicking anybody in my sidebar over on the right. They usually have something important/amusing/thoughtful to read, and it will keep you from an overdose of OH GOD WHY.
As you read a few posts back, the Redhead and I have parted ways. I stayed with Sister for a while, but once her newest little one was born, I was underfoot, and I know when I need to make myself scarce. I'm now living with the previously mentioned Bret, Leo, and Mary (henceforth known as Stud, Nerd, and Androgynous, respectively).
Well, it goes without saying that Redhead, in his typical fashion, utterly loathes Stud’s existence. He is so very convinced that I was sneaking around behind his back with Stud for the past year and a half, and the fact that I am now living with Stud just confirms it! Le gasp! He was right!
Not really, but you all know how paranoid conspiracy theorists can be, I’m sure.
Redhead and I both returned to work yesterday. I have been dreading that very thing for the past two weeks, since I moved out. We work in the same building, with him making food on one side of a rec center’s food court, and me working a cash register on the other side. In the past, whenever he has been mad at me for any reason, and we’re both at work… I sit at my register and check out customers, minding my own business. Redhead constantly walks over to my register to hiss and cuss and be insulting and degrading in every way possible.
You can see why I would be apprehensive about returning to work.
Then, the heavens smiled upon me, and a lot of people did not show up for corporate training for the new branch of Einstein Brother’s Bagels we just opened on campus, so those that had any training got pulled to work over there. Which meant Redhead was out of my hair! Hooray!
Except he would wander over to the rec center on his lunch break and hover around my register for half an hour, making me uncomfortable. He was being nice and cordial and making small talk, but his very presence made me extremely nervous. Maybe it’s because I’m so used to his behavior, that I keep expecting an explosion.
Well, when I saw him today, I told him I needed to come by after work and pick up my monster boots. I have to park across campus, and yesterday we got a ZOMG Snowpacolypse. The monster boots are one of two pairs of shoes that I own, the others being soft leather loafer-looking things with slip-proof soles, for work and job hunting. Needless to say, they do not do well when having to crunch across parking lots that have not been visited by the MoDOT Plow Fairy. Not to mention my pants get wet and then I’m just a cranky bitch.
He wanted to know if I would be bringing Wee Idjit with me. No, says I, because it is ridiculously cold outside and I do not want to expose him to that. That’s just mean. Besides, I’d be coming straight from work. He just kinda walked off…. And one of our mutual coworkers immediately sought me out to find out what I said to piss him off. Oh, the old women at work are LOVING the juicy gossip my existence seems to provide.
Look, I understand wanting to see Wee Idjit. I have no problem bringing him over so you two can spend time together. I want you to see him. You’re his father, and a child needs his father. But getting mad at me because I refuse to expose him to dangerously low temperatures multiple times? No. Don’t play that game with me.
Then he called me a few hours later. Told me he was tired of hearing about life with the roommates. He wanted more than anything for me to come home.
It’s too late for that now. This is the third time we have broken up for any amount of time. The first time, I was gone for a weekend and came back. The second time, I was gone for three weeks, in Texas. This time, there is no coming back. Third time’s the charm, as the saying goes. I will not be lured back into the same old routine with promises of change, of less screaming. More nights where I can fall asleep peacefully, without snide remarks and whispered words of hatred because I’m not the little ass-kisser you want me to be.
This is where I make a stand. This is where my life changes. And there ain’t a fucking thing you can do about it. So pull up your big boy pants, if you got them, and learn to deal with it. You can either take me and Daniel and the way we live, the way it is, or you can get angry and throw a fit about it. Makes me no never mind.
This is where the real change begins.
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