Discussing the debauchery that all young adults in college towns, much like myself, get into when they hit a weekend and have zero responsibility for 48 hours, a coworker of mine, Troy, told me that he was never drinking tequila again, for he had woken up in an awkward position with two ladies of the, ah, easily persuaded nature, in his room mate's bed.
Troy: I'm never drinking tequila again. That was entirely too crazy a night for me.
Snarky: Dude, that's why I drink tequila. Tequila opens up doors of opportunity for new and exciting ways to get in trouble.
Troy: .... Your quotes will make history one day, girlie.
Snarky: Yeah, I know.
Because I truly am that sharp-witted and charming, kids. Accept no substitutes.