I know I posted this song not that long ago, but the message applies here as well, and the only way I know how to cope with pretty much anything is to lose myself in the music.
These are pure thoughts, not planned out, not particularly well-written, but from the heart on this solemn day.
I'm just a step away
I'm just a breath away
Losin' my faith today
(Fallin' off the edge today)
I am just a man
Not superhero
(I'm not superhero)
Someone save me from the hate
It's just another war
Just another family torn
(Falling from my faith today)
Just a step from the edge
Just another day in the world we live
I need a hero to save me now
I need a hero
(Save me now)
I need a hero to save my life
A hero'll save me
(Just in time)
I gotta fight today
To live another day
Speakin' my mind today
(My voice will be heard today)
I've gotta make a stand
but i am just a man
(I'm not superhero)
My voice will be heard today
It's just another war
Just another family torn
(My voice will be heard today)
It's just another kill
The countdown begins to destroy ourselves
I need a hero to save me now
I need a hero
(Save me now)
I need a hero to save my life
A hero'll save me
(Just in time)
I need a hero to save my life
I need a hero
Just in time
Save me just in time
Save me just in time
Who's gonna fight for what's right
Who's gonna help us survive
We're in the fight of our lives
(And we're not ready to die)
Who's gonna fight for the weak
Who's gonna make 'em believe
I've got a hero
(I've got a hero)
Livin' in me
I'm gonna fight for whats right
Today I'm speaking my mind
And if it kills me tonight
(I will be ready to die)
A hero's not afraid to give his life
A hero's gonna save me just in time
I need a hero to save me now
I need a hero
(Save me now)
I need a hero to save my life
A hero'll save me
(Just in time)
I need a hero
Who's gonna fight for whats right
Who's gonna help us survive
I need a hero
Who's gonna fight for the week
Who's gonna make 'em believe
I need a hero
I need a hero
A hero's gonna save me just in time
You've seen a lot of posts today delivering the same message: Never forget.
Everybody remembers where they were, what they were doing. How could you not? American society shut the fuck down when those planes hit the towers.
I'm not going to say never forget. Because you won't.
A lot of people have talked about the heroes the day, and in the days, months, years following it.
411 men and women in various uniforms, running into those buildings to try and help pull workers and visitors out.
2,977 people, going about business as usual. Their average day-to-day.
Almost three thousand lives lost, because of monsters out in the world who hate us because of our way of life. Our liberties. Our freedoms.
And countless soldiers around the world, fighting to protect our freedoms and bring to justice the bastards that would continue to bring us to our knees, out of fear of them.
Average men and women, and in those moments, they stepped up and became heroes.
Remember those men and women. Remember those they saved, those they tried to save, and those they lost their lives trying to save, trying to protect.
Who's gonna fight for what's right
Who's gonna help us survive
We're in the fight of our lives
(And we're not ready to die)
Who's gonna fight for the weak
Who's gonna make 'em believe
I've got a hero
(I've got a hero)
Livin' in me
I'm gonna fight for whats right
Today I'm speaking my mind
And if it kills me tonight
(I will be ready to die)
A hero's not afraid to give his life
A hero's gonna save me just in time
Where was I? I was in school. English class. Bored out of my skull. Then somebody stuck their head in, told us to turn the TV on, and everything stopped. The bells still rang, we still moved from room to room as if part of the every day routine, but nothing was accomplished. Books were not opened, lectures not delivered. We all watched as it unfolded.
Within two hours, almost 70% of the students at my school had been picked up. I lived less than a block from school, and my dad later told me that his coming to get us would not have helped. If any more attacks would have happened, being at home would not have been any safer than us being at school.
And my dad? He sat at home in his room and cried. He was a retired paramedic, his best friends were cops and firemen. He felt everything they did. And raising me to hopefully follow in his footsteps, I did too. It took a few years for me to comprehend more, but I feel the same way now that he did then.
Today, my mind has been replaying the images I saw. The planes. The people. The fire, the smoke. The anger, the fear.
Now it's just anger, for those injustices. And sadness, for those lives lost.
I will say it. Never forget.
This is for the heroes of that day, and the days following it.
A hero's not afraid to give his life
A hero's gonna save me just in time
Sunday, September 11, 2011
Thursday, September 1, 2011
Kilted To Kick Cancer
That's right, it is September 1, and September (as you all know, because if you read me, you definitely read the more popular kids I hang out with) is Prostate Cancer Awareness Month. And I, like many friends of mine, are taking part in the Kilted to Kick Cancer fundraiser.
September may be Prostate Cancer Awareness Month, but for me, it's about all sorts of cancer. Both my parents had cancer; one survived, one didn't. So this month, this event, really hits home for me.
I may not have a kilt quite yet, but I will have one shortly, and rest assured, I will be *rocking* that thing for the whole month! Pictures will be posted often, in a wide variety of mocking (and not so much) poses. You'll enjoy it, I know.
No lie, the prizes are awfully damned tempting, but that's not the whole reason I'm doing it. I'm doing it because my mother survived cancer. I'm doing it because my dad didn't.
I'm doing it because every day, hundreds of people get diagnosed with prostate cancer. I'm doing it because every day, prostate cancer takes away a father, a son, a brother, from his family.
I can't think of a better reason to raise funds for it. Can you?
If you wish to donate through my blog, click either the KTKC badge below, or in the sidebar; it will take you directly to my personal fundraising page for the Lance Armstrong LIVESTRONG foundation.
For full details, cancer facts, rules, and prizes, visit Ambulance Driver's contest page on his blog. He words it much better than I do, after all.
Get kilted!
September may be Prostate Cancer Awareness Month, but for me, it's about all sorts of cancer. Both my parents had cancer; one survived, one didn't. So this month, this event, really hits home for me.
I may not have a kilt quite yet, but I will have one shortly, and rest assured, I will be *rocking* that thing for the whole month! Pictures will be posted often, in a wide variety of mocking (and not so much) poses. You'll enjoy it, I know.
No lie, the prizes are awfully damned tempting, but that's not the whole reason I'm doing it. I'm doing it because my mother survived cancer. I'm doing it because my dad didn't.
I'm doing it because every day, hundreds of people get diagnosed with prostate cancer. I'm doing it because every day, prostate cancer takes away a father, a son, a brother, from his family.
I can't think of a better reason to raise funds for it. Can you?
If you wish to donate through my blog, click either the KTKC badge below, or in the sidebar; it will take you directly to my personal fundraising page for the Lance Armstrong LIVESTRONG foundation.
For full details, cancer facts, rules, and prizes, visit Ambulance Driver's contest page on his blog. He words it much better than I do, after all.
Get kilted!
Friday, July 22, 2011
Police
So, as you all are probably well aware, there is a certain Canton, OH police officer who, ah.... for lack of a better term, FUCKED UP while the dash cam in his cruiser was recording. He acted way out of line, and most people across the World Wide Intarwebz are of the opinion he is in desperate need of a psyche eval and the promise of never wielding any sort of authority, EVER.
Really, though, after I watched Ossifer Dipshit's atrocious behavior, it brought to mind something that has actually been bouncing around in my head for a few days now, since I'm back home.
Growing up as my father's daughter, we rubbed elbows with a lot of police officers and such. He was friends with a lot of badges. In addition to that, you're taught as a child to trust the police. If something bad happens, go to the guys wearing badges and guns, in the cars with the pretty red and blue lights and they'll help you.
Then you grow up and you realize... not so much. Stories like the one out of Canton, OH and many others like it come to light, and you don't trust that badge so much. Or if you're like me, you watch the way the cops act in your town towards people, or you know people who get into trouble, and you become a lot more edgy. Cops ask a lot of questions these days, with their power trips, and they abuse that power.
You don't trust the cops. You don't trust the government. Hell, half the time, you don't trust anyone.
Or maybe that's just me. All I know is since I moved out at the tender young age of 19, I haven't trusted a single badge. I've avoided them at all costs. Hell, with the Death Star not being street legal (and the fact that in Springfield, MO, if the cops stop you, they run *everybody's* ID, and seems like everybody up in Missouri that I know has warrants out for this reason or that), I've become quite adept at dipping out on police officers when I see them anywhere near me in traffic.
And maybe that's just negative thinking, or a wrong lifestyle choice as some might say, but... I don't want to interact with the police. More and more I've come to realize that they aren't going to protect, they aren't going to save me, they aren't going to help.
I have to look to myself for that.
Really, though, after I watched Ossifer Dipshit's atrocious behavior, it brought to mind something that has actually been bouncing around in my head for a few days now, since I'm back home.
Growing up as my father's daughter, we rubbed elbows with a lot of police officers and such. He was friends with a lot of badges. In addition to that, you're taught as a child to trust the police. If something bad happens, go to the guys wearing badges and guns, in the cars with the pretty red and blue lights and they'll help you.
Then you grow up and you realize... not so much. Stories like the one out of Canton, OH and many others like it come to light, and you don't trust that badge so much. Or if you're like me, you watch the way the cops act in your town towards people, or you know people who get into trouble, and you become a lot more edgy. Cops ask a lot of questions these days, with their power trips, and they abuse that power.
You don't trust the cops. You don't trust the government. Hell, half the time, you don't trust anyone.
Or maybe that's just me. All I know is since I moved out at the tender young age of 19, I haven't trusted a single badge. I've avoided them at all costs. Hell, with the Death Star not being street legal (and the fact that in Springfield, MO, if the cops stop you, they run *everybody's* ID, and seems like everybody up in Missouri that I know has warrants out for this reason or that), I've become quite adept at dipping out on police officers when I see them anywhere near me in traffic.
And maybe that's just negative thinking, or a wrong lifestyle choice as some might say, but... I don't want to interact with the police. More and more I've come to realize that they aren't going to protect, they aren't going to save me, they aren't going to help.
I have to look to myself for that.
Thursday, July 21, 2011
Texas
So, being back in Texas as I am, I am confronted by the fact that I am reverting back into my old self.
I'm turning into a homebody again. I sit at home all day and play on the computer or on a console. There's no place to go hang out, no friends for me to socialize with, and nothing to do.
I'm turning into a piece of furniture, yet again.
FUCK. I hate it here.
I'm turning into a homebody again. I sit at home all day and play on the computer or on a console. There's no place to go hang out, no friends for me to socialize with, and nothing to do.
I'm turning into a piece of furniture, yet again.
FUCK. I hate it here.
Wednesday, July 20, 2011
So Anywayz...
So, in the news of "O God My Life" (Sorry Squeaks), I actually have a job. Yeah, it makes no sense.
I spent months on end looking for a job in Missouri, and I've been back in Houston for a grand total of two weeks and had one land in my lap. And it wasn't even a case of "Come in for an interview". It was a case of the day after I gave them my application, they called and said, "Come in for training tonight."
Well okay then.
It's a simple cashiering job, and helping package up food for deliveries and take-out. I work at a Chinese restaurant, whoo. Free food. Except I'll always be hungry...
But, on the plus side, this means I'll actually be able to get the paperwork straightened out on the Death Star (Long, stupid story), and then get it legal again (Hahahaha, me, drive a legal vehicle? That's funny). AND I can get it fixed and running good, which would be *awesome*. I'm debating whether or not I want to get it fixed up and just sell it for something smaller and gas friendlier... which to be honest would be the SMART choice.... but when have I ever claimed to be smart?
That's right. Never.
See, I like my Death Star. She may be a little older, and she may be a cantankerous old whore, but you know what? She's big enough that she won't crumple like a soda can, without being too much vehicle for me to drive, and she has personality. She has a true character to her, a charm that only something directly related to me could achieve.
So I'm also contemplating getting my chariot fixed up, and then continuing with upgrades to make her even more awesome. Maybe a new coat of paint? I know for sure I'm gonna get the dashboard fixed from when those tweaker bastards broke into it, and then I'm thinking a new stereo and some speaker upgrades. New tires are a must, and maybe some new rims to look awesome? And don't worry, I'm not going to do something stupid like in a previous post. Just some rims that look good without being ghetto fabulous. Can't be having that stupid bullshit.
I mean, come on. I'm white and I know it. I don't want to be and never will be GANGSTA. And my truck will reflect that. I'd be more inclined to get a lift kit on it, except I'm of the opinion that unless you're driving a full size SUV like an Excursion or a Suburban, that lift kits and off road tires look ridiculous. But I am definitely, DEFINITELY not lowering it. That shit's just stupid, keep that kind of nonsense away from me and my truck, mmmkay?
Okay, brain vomit complete.
I spent months on end looking for a job in Missouri, and I've been back in Houston for a grand total of two weeks and had one land in my lap. And it wasn't even a case of "Come in for an interview". It was a case of the day after I gave them my application, they called and said, "Come in for training tonight."
Well okay then.
It's a simple cashiering job, and helping package up food for deliveries and take-out. I work at a Chinese restaurant, whoo. Free food. Except I'll always be hungry...
But, on the plus side, this means I'll actually be able to get the paperwork straightened out on the Death Star (Long, stupid story), and then get it legal again (Hahahaha, me, drive a legal vehicle? That's funny). AND I can get it fixed and running good, which would be *awesome*. I'm debating whether or not I want to get it fixed up and just sell it for something smaller and gas friendlier... which to be honest would be the SMART choice.... but when have I ever claimed to be smart?
That's right. Never.
See, I like my Death Star. She may be a little older, and she may be a cantankerous old whore, but you know what? She's big enough that she won't crumple like a soda can, without being too much vehicle for me to drive, and she has personality. She has a true character to her, a charm that only something directly related to me could achieve.
So I'm also contemplating getting my chariot fixed up, and then continuing with upgrades to make her even more awesome. Maybe a new coat of paint? I know for sure I'm gonna get the dashboard fixed from when those tweaker bastards broke into it, and then I'm thinking a new stereo and some speaker upgrades. New tires are a must, and maybe some new rims to look awesome? And don't worry, I'm not going to do something stupid like in a previous post. Just some rims that look good without being ghetto fabulous. Can't be having that stupid bullshit.
I mean, come on. I'm white and I know it. I don't want to be and never will be GANGSTA. And my truck will reflect that. I'd be more inclined to get a lift kit on it, except I'm of the opinion that unless you're driving a full size SUV like an Excursion or a Suburban, that lift kits and off road tires look ridiculous. But I am definitely, DEFINITELY not lowering it. That shit's just stupid, keep that kind of nonsense away from me and my truck, mmmkay?
Okay, brain vomit complete.
Sunday, July 17, 2011
Lulz
So, it occurs to me that, being back in Texas, and back in a house where there is *nothing* to do in a TOWN where there is *nothing* to do, my mind will automatically find everything around me that is even remotely blog-worthy.
And this happens right after I announce I'm going on hiatus. OF COURSE.
So much for that idea.
Have a picture of the Wee Idjit (with shorter hair, no less) looking like a hood rat. Sleeveless shirt, baggy jeans that hang past his knees, and work boots. And before you ask, my mother is the one that said he looked like a hood rat, not me.
Bonus redneck points for sitting in a Cars lawn chair thing.
And this happens right after I announce I'm going on hiatus. OF COURSE.
So much for that idea.
Have a picture of the Wee Idjit (with shorter hair, no less) looking like a hood rat. Sleeveless shirt, baggy jeans that hang past his knees, and work boots. And before you ask, my mother is the one that said he looked like a hood rat, not me.
Bonus redneck points for sitting in a Cars lawn chair thing.
Saturday, July 16, 2011
Hero
Presented without comment...
Okay I lied, have some comments.
A friend played me this song once months ago, and I thought it sounded pretty fucking badass, to put it simply. And then I didn't hear it again forever. And then they played it again last night, and I thought it was still pretty fucking bad ass. And neither one of us had seen the video, so I pulled it up on teh Intarwebz and watched it this morning.
I make no secret of my pride and support for our troops. And soldier songs, hero songs similar to this one, strike a chord in me. My favorite songs include "Indestructible" by Disturbed and "No One Gets Left Behind" by Five Finger Death Punch. Both are songs describing the working life of someone in our armed forces. And after watching this video, I liked the song ten times more for the tribute and respect it pays to the men and women of our armed forces, our public servants (the good ones, not the politicians), doctors, nurses. People whose lives are in the thick of it and sometimes in danger, whether it be directly or indirectly.
So yeah. Another new favorite for that one.
Stay tuned.
Okay I lied, have some comments.
A friend played me this song once months ago, and I thought it sounded pretty fucking badass, to put it simply. And then I didn't hear it again forever. And then they played it again last night, and I thought it was still pretty fucking bad ass. And neither one of us had seen the video, so I pulled it up on teh Intarwebz and watched it this morning.
I make no secret of my pride and support for our troops. And soldier songs, hero songs similar to this one, strike a chord in me. My favorite songs include "Indestructible" by Disturbed and "No One Gets Left Behind" by Five Finger Death Punch. Both are songs describing the working life of someone in our armed forces. And after watching this video, I liked the song ten times more for the tribute and respect it pays to the men and women of our armed forces, our public servants (the good ones, not the politicians), doctors, nurses. People whose lives are in the thick of it and sometimes in danger, whether it be directly or indirectly.
So yeah. Another new favorite for that one.
Stay tuned.
PSA
Dear JACKASS IDIOTS:
Just a word for the wise, mmmkay. This thing here?
This thing? IS FUCKING STUPID.
Jesus tittyfucking christ, pull your heads out of your asses. That is quite possibly the STUPIDEST fucking thing I have ever seen. In what fucked up world does that seem even remotely attractive, or cool, or what? I mean, come on.
If I have to look at one more car like that, I may have to stab somebody in the taint.
Christ on a crutch!
Just a word for the wise, mmmkay. This thing here?
This thing? IS FUCKING STUPID.
Jesus tittyfucking christ, pull your heads out of your asses. That is quite possibly the STUPIDEST fucking thing I have ever seen. In what fucked up world does that seem even remotely attractive, or cool, or what? I mean, come on.
If I have to look at one more car like that, I may have to stab somebody in the taint.
Christ on a crutch!
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
Tired
So, you guys probably won't see any posts in this corner of the internet for a while.
I'll probably leave the blog up, just for shits and giggles, but don't expect me to actually put anything out worth reading.
The past couple months have been really dry around here, I know. Living in Springfield, trying to find a job, and then TSHTF in my personal life.
I suddenly find myself living in Houston, TX once again. And I hate it.
There are not words enough to describe just how pissed off I am. I left this state for a reason, and I most certainly did not want to come back. But hey, it was either drive all the way home, or be homeless with a two year old.
But... as for the reason I'm calling it quits? I'm pissed. I'm depressed. And I'm pretty sure you guys don't want to read me bitching about working a dead end job, or being unhappy with my life, or how I wish I was back in Springfield, or any of that nonsense.
So. When my situation changes, and I hate my life a little bit less, you'll hear from me again.
Until then, stay safe.
I'll probably leave the blog up, just for shits and giggles, but don't expect me to actually put anything out worth reading.
The past couple months have been really dry around here, I know. Living in Springfield, trying to find a job, and then TSHTF in my personal life.
I suddenly find myself living in Houston, TX once again. And I hate it.
There are not words enough to describe just how pissed off I am. I left this state for a reason, and I most certainly did not want to come back. But hey, it was either drive all the way home, or be homeless with a two year old.
But... as for the reason I'm calling it quits? I'm pissed. I'm depressed. And I'm pretty sure you guys don't want to read me bitching about working a dead end job, or being unhappy with my life, or how I wish I was back in Springfield, or any of that nonsense.
So. When my situation changes, and I hate my life a little bit less, you'll hear from me again.
Until then, stay safe.
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