Dear Internets

Have you missed me? I know you have. I'm sorry, I've been a horrible blogger and haven't put anything up in FOREVER.

And right now, I don't have any real content to speak of, but I do have something, just a lil' something.

You have raped my brain, Internets. It's a horrible thing to do.

Not for the faint of heart.

Love, Snarky.

Boobquake!

So over here and also here on Facebook, we have something new to participate in.

Boobquake.

Some screwhead over in the sandbox (because I am so anti-P.C.) decided that dressing immodestly is the reason we have more earthquakes here as of late. And some of the lovely psychos on the Intarwebz (whom I adore for reasons like this) decided that we needed to prove, in the name of SCIENCE, that this is just not true.

So, to the pleasure of men EVERYWHERE, all day Monday, wear the most cleavage-revealing shirt you own. Let's see if we can make the whole Earth tremble. Probably in excitement but hey.

Let's rock the boobs, ya'll.

Apple Fanbois?

Here's one for you... Alan and Breda in particular, rocking the iPhones.. :D




Note: No, this is not a PC-lover hating on Apple fanbois. Not at all. If I had the money, I'd totally get a Macbook. They're nifty. I just giggled at the song is all.

New Toy

So, I got this nifty little toy, thanks to the fever I caught from some cool people.

I bought an iPod Touch. And I must say, it is an awesome little gadget. All the power and capabilities of a laptop computer, the price of your average netbook, and conveniently sized to fit in my left butt pocket.

Can't argue with that.

I am thoroghly enjoying myself playing with it. Facebook, IMs, IRC, and a fuck-ton of nifty little pleasure apps, most of which are free.

I like the touch screen. After playing with it for a solid 8 hours yesterday, I got a text message, and started tapping the screen of my phone... Only to get embarassed when I remembered that my phone was not a touch screen and there was a keyboard there for a reason.

Yeah. I are geenioos.

These things are totally worth the money you spend on them, though. If you buy one, I heartily recommend getting at least a 32 gig iPod, for space fills up fast, and before you know it, the base model 8 gigs is full.

Go. Get one. Spread the fevah.

PS - yes, I did just post this from the new shiny. I am such a tech whore.

My Brand Of Parenting

Overheard in a conversation on Yahoo Messenger with the lovely NinjaMedic:

NinjaMedic: you know,I just love it when my kids restart the router without telling me
Snarky: Throw a shoe at them
Snarky: lol
NinjaMedic: it just makes my fucking night.
Snarky: Is it sad that I can't wait for Daniel to be big enough to do shit like that?
Snarky: "Why you throwing stuff at me?!"
NinjaMedic: I yelled instead. they said 'oh. sorry'
Snarky: Cuz you're being a little shit head!
NinjaMedic: hahahah!
Snarky: You're just like your father. Now go brew me some coffee.
NinjaMedic: haha!
Snarky: "I'm six, I don't know how to use the coffee maker!"
Snarky: WELL IT'S TIME TO LEARN, BITCH.


I win. NinjaMedic shot coke out of her nose.

Damn you, GBC!

Thanks to you crazy fucks, I'm going to have nightmares for the rest of the week.

Don't get me wrong, the body is pretty, but the face... and just.... who it IS, ya know?

Ewwww.

You guys suck.

Twitter

I swear to god, this site is made of pure internet crack.

The Conspiracy

So, thanks to a handful of the bloggers I read, I have let myself into the Gunblogger Conspiracy chat. It's an interesting little corner of the internet.

Filled with fucking NUTCASES.

But it's great. Good way to waste... going on four hours now.


I've struck up a tentative friendship with Unix-Jedi.

I fainted when Breda logged in the first time.

Jay identified me and posted a link to my little blog. How sweet.

I want to cuddle with FarmGirl.

And...

AHAB! SHUT THE FUCK UP! Seriously dude. Just. Stop. Talking.

And quit buying bad meth. Srsly.

I hate you, Internet

So, I'm a geek. It's true. I love Transformers. When I first saw a trailer for the first movie on TV, I just about creamed myself.

When I heard that a second one was in production, again, I almost creamed myself.

Now, IMDB has two teaser trailers up on their site concerning Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen. This is great. Except every time I go to watch one, I can't get the damned thing to load.

When all else fails, hit up YouTube. Right?

WRONG!

Apparently, the idiots on the internet (and there's a lot of you little cockbites out there, too) think it is absolutely HILARIOUS to post roughly a MILLION videos on YouTube, marked under the names of various movie titles, songs, TV shows that are big hits and frequently searched... only it's Rick Astley.

Rickrolling. The internet's most annoying fad currently.

And god DAMN IT, these little idiots are keeping me from just seeing the teaser trailer to one movie I really, REALLY want to see. Why? Why can't you just leave me alone and let me watch my freaking videos?

No less than six different videos, marked as trailers for Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen, have turned out to be Rick Astley's "Never Gonna Give You Up".

UGH!

The internet has cancer. His name is Rick Astley. I swear to god, I'm going to kill this man simply because of this stupid, stupid song. It's not even a halfway decent song, either. It sucks.

Argh.

Wow. That IS cute.

Hijacked from HairBalls, we bring to you...



Houston Zoo To Unveil OH DEAR GOD THAT IS CUTE

On March 28, the Houston Zoo will unveil its new star attraction: a rare red panda named Toby.

Holy hell, Toby is cute.

Have you ever seen one of these things?



Read the article on the Houston Zoo's website about Toby here.

I found the HairBalls HoustonPress blog post about Toby while Stumbling around the intarwebz this morning... and I gotta agree.

Toby is mighty cute.

And even the "quotes" from the other animals in the zoo are worth a chuckle or two.

Makes me miss the Houston Zoo. It was mighty fun.

Ze Blogroll

Ho'snaps! Two posts in one day!

Can ya tell I'm not doing a single productive thing today? Oh yeah. You can.

So, after stuffing myself full of a new blog, and noticing how most of the blogs I follow make NOTE when they add to their blogroll, I figured I'd jump on the bandwagon and point out who all is in my sidebar over there and why I lurves them. So, without further adieu, here we go!

• Ambulance Driver - This guy is pretty much my blogfather. I read him first, got sucked in, and it was all downhill from there. I followed his blogroll to a handful of other people, and after so long, I started my own. Full of snark when writing about working the 'bolance and guns, his blog promises much fun for all.
  
• LabRat and StingRay of Atomic Nerds - These two.. I don't even know where to begin. A frighteningly intelligent couple that blog about everything from science to guns to politics to general insanity, I was first linked to them through someone else to their post about things StingRay is not allowed to do. From that post alone, I was hooked.
  
• Crystal at Boobs, Injuries, and Dr. Pepper - The title pretty much says it all right there. How can you argue with that? Wife, mother of three, and completely insane. I love this lady. I want to be like her when I grow up.
  
• Cranky Epistles - An easily-agitated woman who teaches English at a Catholic university in PA. Okay, so not easily agitated. Just... she has certain triggers that set her off bigger than anything. Like stupid students. Which I can't really blame her for, to be honest.
  
• Nurse K at Crass-Pollination - An urban ER nurse, battling it out day-to-day with stupid docs and even stupider patients. Lots of the latter, who think that their runny nose needs to be seen by a doctor RIGHT NOW or they just might die. Well worth the read.
  
• Adventures of GuitarGirlRN - Another ER nurse, full of contempt for the more sheep-like members of humanity. Plus, she plays guitar and bass both. Can't argue with that!
  
• LawDog - Ah, the much-worshipped godfather of the blogging community I have gotten sucked into. A policeman in North Texas with a colorful upbringing and plenty of snark to spare, this is the man that gets EVERYBODY into blogging, it seems like.
  
• Jay G. of MArooned - A gun nut, a father, a husband, a biker, an all around good guy who seems like he might just have a short fuse... I agree with everything he says, ESPECIALLY considering idiots on the road. His Road Rage posts keep my sides splitting while simultaneously cursing stupid drivers. Also worth noting are his Friday Fun posts about cars and Friday Gun Pr0n. Can't go wrong.
  
• MattG of Better and Better - Another officer from the great state of Texas, this is a family man who is more down to earth and full of good information about safety and firearms, and always willing to answer a question that a reader may pose to him. Very charming personality.
  
• Skippy's List - The website containing the greatly appreciated "213 Things Skippy Is No Longer Allowed To Do In The U.S. Army". That in and of itself is good for endless amounts of laughs, no matter how many times you've heard it. I can't believe he got AWAY with some of the stuff he did. Plus, there's a blog on the site, and every Monday they post a new list of things people are not allowed to do in various different jobs. Gigglefest, all around.
  
• The Breda Fallacy - The Most Dangerous Librarian in Ohio. Small of stature, big of snark, she concealed carries wherever she goes, and is full of advice to women just looking to protect themselves and their families. Plus food recipes! Yumz.
  
• FarmGirl of Tractor Tracks - A home-grown farm girl, most at home in the saddle of her horses, FarmGirl is another female gun blogger, with an interesting novella-type project in the process that she posts chapters to from time to time. Very interesting read.
  
• Sabra of Trailer Park Paradise - A single mother of three that has somehow captured my attention, and in all honesty, I can't really put words to why I'm so entranced with reading her blog. Just take my word for it, click the link, and go read!
  

Well, that's all of them. And from now on, whenever I add a new blogger to the roll, I shall update my handful of faithful readers so that you, too, can go read and be educated in whatever way that these folks offer.

Now go! Read! Make with the clicky!

I win.

I have beaten the system!

Okay maybe not.

But I got a man who HATES phonecalls to chat me up on Skype. It's like a loophole. Kinda.

Too bad Skype hates us both and dropped the call every five minutes.

Almost an hour-long convo, split up into five minute increments.

But hey... you know who you are.... I do think the accent is kinda sexy. ;)

I Have The Dumb

My weakness on the internet is reading. Occasionally writing, but mostly reading. What do I love to read?

Medblogs. Srsly. Look at my sidebar. A paramedic, a couple of nurses, a cop, and one random-ass lady that makes me laugh so hard I'm running the risk of needing a new laptop before I destroy this one. Shooting and/or spitting coffee everywhere because you can't hold in the laughter tends to destroy a delicate piece of electrical equipment.

There is a downside to loving to read the medblogs, though.

I have NO FUCKING CLUE what they're talking about. I'm eager to learn, I soak their words up like a god damned sponge, but whenever I read them, I have to have a second tab open on Firefox with Google, Dictionary.com, or Wikipedia to explain to me what the hell that word that has waaaaaaaaay too many letters and looks (to me) like it can't be pronounced by a human tongue actually MEANS.

I have the dumb. But I can't help it, I love reading this shit!