Send Ambien

My sleep schedule has been ALL sorts of muffed up here lately.

Since I moved in with Stud and Nerd (since Androgynous is pretty much *never* here), I have been inclined to stay up later into the night. They are my friends, and I feel the urge to be social. God knows I never got any social interaction with other people when I was living with the Redhead.

But yes. I enjoy the conversations with Stud, and from time to time, even Nerd can hold my attention for more than a few minutes without creeping me out. He's pretty damn creepy, yo. He has DATERAPEFACE. Don't ask me to describe it, it's one of those things you'd have to see to understand.

But... I stay up later in the evenings, talking and listening to music and just generally enjoying pleasant company. Relaxing. Doing absolutely nothing of importance, but CONTENT with that fact. Another difference between living with the Redhead and living here.

The only problem is the fact that the alarms start going off at 5:30 in the morning, to wake Stud up for work. Stud doesn't wake up, so I'm forced on a daily basis to go drag his ass out of bed.

5:30 would not be such a miserable early hour... okay, so it probably would anyway... if I had been going to bed before midnight. Except I'm kinda stupid like that, and I never learn, so I KEEP staying up late and not getting enough sleep.

My diet's been off, as well. I'm dropping weight, need to buy new pants. Nothing fits right, everything hangs off my ass. Kinda disappointing. But alas, I will survive.

No sleep, barely eating, kinda twitchy and prone to random outbursts of ZOMGWTFRAGE... you'd think I was on drugs.

No, no drugs here. Just getting used to freedom again.

But I really could use a three-day nap.

Serious Up, Internet

You know, everybody is happy for me that I've left the Redhead. They keep telling me I did the right thing for myself and Wee Idjit, yada yada yada, et cetera, ad nauseum.

And while I'm aware that they're all correct in pretty much every way, it doesn't change the fact that I've been having an INCREDIBLY difficult time dealing with life in general here these past few weeks.

I'm very lonely. I've been keeping close company with Stud, because, well... he's a very good friend, he's very pretty, he understands what's going on in my head (on more than one subject) better than anyone else I know. When Redhead and I had problems, Stud was a foundation of sanity for me. He is continuing to be so now, when I don't have to burn a lot of gas to get away to see him. It's convenient that we live under the same roof.

I'm not going to deny I still love Redhead. It'd be stupid of me to try. I was with him for three years. He took care of me, I had a kid with him. A lot of the time, things were good. He had mental issues and lashed out, blaming everyone but himself for things that were eating his soul from his childhood. And he refused to seek help, or admit there was a problem. That's why I left. That's why I'm not going back.

But god damn am I lonely. And of course, I decided to voice my opinion on these issues on Valentine's Day. That does not bode well for any and all parties involved, does it?

Revived Cute Kid Pic

I know, I'm a terrible blogstress, we have established this.

BUT LOOK! CUTENESS!!



That is Wee Idjit, obviously, being kept amused and occupied and (most importantly) QUIET by the Stud Roomie. He adores Stud, and Stud is just tickled pink by his being there. Makes life a lot more amusing and unpredictable, sez he.

And we can't be having a predictable life, now can we? Makes it all boring'n'shiz.

Quote of the Day - Sexy

"For me, sexy is more a matter of personality and brains.... On the flip side, though, you can't motorboat a personality." - Raudhbjorn

That's something lol-worthy at 6:30 in the morning, right thurr.